![[The Quirky Little Things]](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NdiAIxKFlWw/TteW7s-_OlI/AAAAAAAACOg/EcK6PL56US0/s1600/an%2Bcopy.png)
I'm sorry for the m.i.a.
I didn't mean it, really. It just happen and I was need some time to rest my mind. Therefore I thought.. And my thoughts, will be jotted down here, as I need it to be share and state.
For now, I'm done thinking. I finish my mind-naps. Now I'm wide awake and ready. I need to do this. I need to be relieved. I need people to learnt with me.
So here you go..
It was January,30 on 12.35 AM when I finally have the guts to reminisced the moments. No, scratch that. I reminisced it. All the time. Because it's impossible to be forgotten, no matter how hard I tried to replace it. No. It will always be there. The scars, the pains, the memories.
But that nite.. I finally typed it all down on my cellphone.
Hours past. Six thousand words had been typed. And it amaze me how I finally burst into tears. Yes. After what had been happened, it was the first night I cried. I let my tears fell. I finally let it go. Yes, I let myself cry over you.. over what you did to me.. over everything what we've been through.. over this past fifteen months and eleven days.. over this embarassing love story.
I don't even sure if it's love.
August, Friday the 13th.
There I was in my lousy tee after the dance routine. And you, under the street lamp.
August 25, 2010
we finally make it official. And then we live happily ever after.
..you wish.
Time flies and drama comes..
You blocked some of my buddies' Facebook and Twitter. You never allowed me to even hung out or sit with them anymore. I can't believe you get mad just because my guy mates sit next to me. You check all my phones. You knew all my social network's password. I have no more privacy. Your insecurity kills me. So effing bad. Just so you know, I didn't play your game.
Remember when I danced on my Church Easter celebration? Yes, you weren't there to watch me. We got in a fight and we broke up. A day before my performance. How cool is that?
Remember when I finally bought my own camera? Yes, you weren't there to help me even when I cried on my room.
Remember when I finally met my long-lost cousin after years? Yes, you weren't there to calm me.
Remember when me and my family on the road trip and our car got hit by some burglars? Yes, you weren't there to soothe me.
Remember when my dad got hospitalized last year? Yes, you weren't there. I know you're going out with your mates so yeah..
Remember when I was about to pick the little baby girl for my aunt? Yes, you weren't there.
There are too much to be listed, dear.. I'm getting used to your absence. You barely even there whenever I needed you the most. You know how complicated my life is.. and you don't even dare to move in and soothe me with your presence. No, you don't.
And I found there's nothing that need to be hold anymore.
It was January 15, 2011
when we fought again because of my partner in an organization I volunteered. So silly and ridiculous reasons. But hell, it's up to you. That nite, I already make the decision though..
January 16, 2011
You called me in the morning. But I didn't pick it up. I didn't even care. I went to my class for last exam.. and when I'm reading, oh there you came to the class. And you slapped my hand. So hard.
Later I found out that you knew which class I'm in because you texted my friend, right? Oh and you do remember how you cursed, don't you? Jadi siapa yang 'babi'? Aku, mama aku, atau temen aku?
Then you took my cellphone. And I called my mom from my friend's phone and when mom called you, you lied to her. Oh how poor you are..
When I finished the exam, me and my friends were on our way to the lecturers room. And you got me. I walked out of you, but you followed me. And then you pulled my hands and dragged me along the alley. You pushed me to the wall and yelled at me. I cried and had to screamed to my friends so they came and help me.
I hid in the lecturers room and call mom to pick me up. But even when I was already with my lecturer, you came in and pulled my bag, you took my friend's phone too. You want me to go out to talk with you, but because I refuse, you threatened me in front of all the lecturers. Short long story, we finally talk outside the lecturers room. I took both of me and my friend's phones. And I finally, finally, calls it a quit. It's finally over. There's no more us.
Yes, my mom called your uncle and told him what you did to me. And guess what, even your uncle didn't care. He didn't even apologize for what you did. So I wait.. And until now, twenty two days after it all, there's no single apologize from you or your family. Guess the rudeness runs on the family eh?
At first I thought I'm going to cry again when I typed this and I will let it be the last tear-jerker for you.. well it turns out no.
Never mind.
The reason why I finally decide to put this on my blog, because I want this torture to be ended.
You can't be mad at me because everything that I wrote here is true.
So here you go, Christian Louis.
I forgive you. I forgive everything you did to me, to my friend, to my family.
I forgive everything.. no matter how hurt and embarassed I was to had an abusive boyfriend like you.
I forgive you.
And I hope God will forgive you too as long as you apologize to Him.
But I will took this seriously.
If, by any chance, we met again.
Don't ever care to talk to me, even to smile at me.
You're a total stranger to me now.
And if, also by any chance, you keep being stubborn and do another physical attack or abusive things, keep in your mind that I'm not afraid, that I got enough power, evidence, and witnesses to put this case in court.
Thank you for everything you gave me.
Thank you for all your gifts.
Thank you for your patience.
No matter what, of course you've done lots of nice things to me.
And I really appreciate that.
Thank you.
And I hope God bless you and your family.
Good bye, L.
